Self Portrait

Before this blog, I have never tried to take a picture of myself.  It is a strange and interesting experience to put myself in front of a camera open and feeling ‘naked’.  Nobody is around, and I am talking to my camera and making faces. I know my camera will take in everything going through its lens and record everything as is. 

As I started the first shot early in the morning, I saw a night owl who had again stayed up too late browsing on the web and the camera called out on it.   I thought my cup of fresh coffee with aroma has initiated my days, but apparently it has not. At least my camera said so.

I got up and decided to make a pot of Chinese tea with the last bit of osthmanthus flower that I brought back from last Shanghai trip. I did not taste the floral fragrance in the tea, but I certainly smelled it and the fragrance woke me up.

I was shooting in my studio in a cloudy day with my basic equipment. There was not much light shining through my window so I used a flash.  I tested a few shots with minimum flash power but without diffuser and my face looked too bright, so I added diffuser to dim the light and I looked better and more awake, but I looked very stern. My third grade teacher often gave me hard time simply because I did not smile. I am happy and content in this stage of my life and I want to give my camera a big smile. 

I actually tried many times before I finally got myself a self-portrait with a satisfying smile.

I also moved my Flash from front to side and it landed on the back. The window light though not strong is sufficient to light my face.  When I tried to add more light (even diffused), it was too much.  If my flash light came through my sides, it created shadows. Shadow can sometimes enhance a shot, but on this occasion, I did not like the shadow. 

When I moved the light source to the back, it lit my background and highlighted my front face silhouette.  The shot is simple and straight forward. But with experiment in mind, I still tried to play with the orientation of the light source.

I have lived here long enough and I am used to send friendly body languages to the people around me. I smiled at my co-workers, clerks in the store, pedestrians walking by me and to me, very importantly, the people who looked distressed or dismayed.  However, I may still not smile enough.

From time to time, I would watch a cashier in the grocery store chatting and laughing with the other customer, but a sudden pause occurred when I went through the line. It may just be the stereotype that Caucasians have on the Asians. I do agree that most of the Asians are quieter. We smile, but mostly lightly smiled. I think it has something to do with the cultural difference as well as the personality.

A friend was teasing that Asians do not smile because they don’t have good-looking teeth like the people here.  People here are more conscious of their outlook and braces were mostly used since childhood.

I personally think that Asians are mostly more reserved in their facial and verbal expressions.  Caucasians are more open and more dramatic in delivering emotions.

It is mostly a cultural difference. 

People seem to agree that Asian women tend to look younger and have better skins.

My personal intake for this may shock you.  I think we are all created equally by God and we have the same life-span. The difference depends on how you live and how you manage your health. Caucasians smile a lot and smile big. When you smile dramatically, your skin is constantly stretched and eventually turns loose, faster.  If white skins are under the sun more often than yellow skins, it is not a surprise that the white skins are aging faster, isn’t it? (I am more interested in photography and I am not here to be a beauty specialist. I am simply addressing my personal opinion.)

I am adamant about smile. When we are so excited, we should let it burst. When I smile, I feel the whole world is also smiling back at me.  It is surely an instant remedy.

This picture was taken by my husband. I was astonished by our grandson’s dramatic act. I like it very much because the emotion came out naturally. I am amused myself by simply looked at it.  I hope you are, too.

Just Do It, Right Away

It was a clear night.  Chilly but refreshing.  Having been trying to do some water feature shots unsatisfactorily, I walked out to the deck for some fresh air.  I looked into night sky and was soaked under the dark blue canopy. How I always like this color called 'midnight blue'? Because it is so calm, so deep and so peaceful. 

When I was a child, I hated night, the long and dragging darkness.  Particularly when I could not sleep and had to wait patiently under the comforter till all the adults finally got out of the bed. Now I appreciate that our Creator has actually given us this time of the day to rest and relax, and, if I cannot sleep, I would tune in my smartphone for audio books. It usually put me right back to sleep.

I love to use my marco lens to explore the intricacy of Nature, but I want to broaden my horizon not to limit myself to certain style and I want to change my focal point.  I know at times the stunning beauty is right there and it is hard not to capture it at that instant. It is irresistible.

If I want to do something, I want to do it right away.  JUST DO IT and do it RIGHT AWAY.  That's me.  I don't sit and wait around, I want to act now. I can easily stay all night to finalize a task and next day, I will keep my day going as it is just another regular day. One of my fond old memories is to work with product photographers to set up the backdrop for product shots. We were working on a catalog with hundreds of items. It took a while to prep up the background and it took even longer for some close-to-perfect shots to come through.  We could work day and night, slept on the floor of the studio, and got right back to work with a fresh cup of coffee to kick off our morning.  When the momentum is there, let the inspiration flow.

I never thought that I would become a designer towards the end of my working career. Being an introvert, I do prefer to work with products than people.  But I don't dislike people, I am only not social enough.  I don't like the product itself as much, I enjoy the process of creating products.  Product sounds too commercial and my interest is not being measured by monetary value.  My joy is to see an idea materialized and become a product and people actually like my product. It is so rewarding.

Back to the deck under midnight blue sky.... Prior to the first freeze, I put away all my plants and flowers and have them sheltered under my patio table. I have not looked at them for months while I was working on my photo book projects.  I suddenly had a desire to check on them and stay outside for a bit longer.  Spring life sign is shown on almost every plant. I was pleased and could not resist smiling. They looked dry however, so I sprayed some water on them to quench their thirst.

For a long time, I want to shoot flowers in the night time, but I never did (well, I did not get my flash till last Christmas). It is the time and I want to do it right away.  But, there are buds no blooms. Give up, no, I just gave up my project inside the house. Now it is time for me to do something outside the house, but what?

My honeysuckle survived through winter and it is full of new leaves and flower buds, but there is nothing like spring time when I could click my shutter for hours.  Well, do something and do it right away.  I had my camera, tripod and flash out on the deck and I was looking carefully for possibilities.  Few honeysuckle buds were colorful, but they were not even close to the shot I took last spring.  I moved through my plants, had deck lights out and took some shots with my flash.  When my flash is working properly, I feel I can swim like a fish (I don't swim by the way). I like the ambiance look of my shots, but I was not thrilled, not fun enough. Beautiful and full-bloom season is not here yet.

I turned on my deck lights to re-adjust my focus and I spotted something glistening on my camera viewer. That remind me of the gold-filled pendants made from real leaves. The water I sprayed on the leaves is now creating a golden glare. I purposely used low watt light bulbs for the deck for ambiance sake and these light bulbs were putting out yellow lights.  Immediately I put away my flash and bump up my ISO and started to snap it away. Suddenly I saw gold everywhere.

My husband likes a show called How Things Are Made. He recently found another show Gold Rush that he really enjoyed for the same reason. This show portraits a hard-working family crew who faced unknown Nature and unexpected mechanical challenges from time to time. Their strong desire to hunt gold for money kept them motivated and the unmeasurable potentials kept them at task. It is their profession, their means of living. 

I had my little gold rush at home comfort, on my deck, in a beautiful night.  The little bit of gold on two tiny leaves have made me so happy. I don't need to weight them and figure out the ounces. I am content by just looking at them.

Winter in northwest is long and cold.  My in-home photography projects have kept me busy and feel fulfilling all the time.  There are simply endless subjects around the house to explore and to turn them into pieces of artwork through a camera.  How I love photography!  And I am glad that I just do it and do it right away.

Reflections

Spring weather is peeking through the tail end of Winter.  I was excited to spot new life in our yard.  It has been cold and I have spent most of my time in front of computer, I have not walked around to check out my plants and flowers.

I was surprised to see fresh leaves on all my rose bushes. I saw one bud and two blooms from my most favorite Double Delight! They certainly came early this year. My spirit was delightfully lifted.  My curiosity was rising and my expectation getting higher, I walked to the area where I had five Hellebores (Lantern Rose) planted last year. There were lots of new leaves, some flower buds and one flower already bloomed!  This type of flowers look like a lantern, we cannot see its beauty without turning it upwards. The charm of the flower promoted me to go into the house and grab my camera.

But, her face was down, how did I take the shot?  I had to turn it, but I could not hold it with one hand and take the picture using the other.  I needed two hands to shoot close-ups.  My tripod is not low enough and I had to hand hold my camera.  I tried to use one limb to brace the flower, not only that I failed, I broke the flower from the limb completely, ouch. I could sense the tears from her eyes.  I could not end her life like this, I had to do something. So I rushed to get a glass bowl, filled it with water and sat her in there floating. Her pretty face was up and she smiled.

These Hellebores grow very low on the ground,. I intended to take shots from low angle. Guess not, now. My flower looked happy, but I was not because I had not been able to take my pictures.  Oh, well, I did not intend to shoot flowers this morning anyway, I planned to photo trees in my neighborhood using my wild angle lens. I like to see the effects by placing my camera in different positions.

While I was ready to step into the house, I passed by aunt Lucile's dark blue car. It rained earlier and there were water drops remained on the body.  The reflection of the trees was hovering the back window and rear body, the grayish silhouette had a subtle beauty and looked almost surreal.

Don't know why, I decided to place the flower on rear end of the blue vehicle and the reflection stunned me. It looked absolutely beautiful... For a long time, my macro lens has always been focused on the center of flowers. I tend to make every attempt to go closer and closer because I seemed not be able to see enough of it. I took a few shots as how I would usually shoot it, but today I seemed not too interested in looking through the 'microscope' to see the intricate part, I was drawn to just look at this flower and her counterpart, the reflection.

Instead of framing the flower to cover its vivid details, I decided to change a different angle and had only a tiny bit of the intricate stigma shown. It is not something that I would usually do, but I am glad that I did it.

I was down the ground in order that I could shoot from a low angle. Because it was low, I ended up picking the reflections of the surrounding elements, trees and rain drops.  My flower was, at this moment , floating on water pond and the trees became ripple stripes and rain drops looked bubbling. I was very happy with what I saw. I believe my flower was thrilled now that I had brought her to my fantasy land and she in turn had brightened my day.

I live in the area where deer munch on almost everything.  The plants I bought from deer proof list could be chewed down overnight.  My next door neighbor planted three (supposed to be deer-proof) bushes with stunning pink flowers one late afternoon. Second morning when I opened the window of my office and looked out, I saw their entire family were standing outside in the rain and moaning by the flower bushes. I only saw green, nothing pink, at that point.

One thing I can brag about is, my lantern rose is truly deer proof. They have sustained a year without any deer tracks by it. I like it also for this important reason.

Winter Retreat

One good couple friend has recently moved to Florida and the other couple has purchased their summer home in Cabo area.  They want to get away from northwest for the cold winter.

This winter here has been cold, freezing cold.  There were days that I simply did not step out of the door. I only made grocery runs. The chill could freeze our blood and made us lifeless.  My heart ached whenever I thought about those people who got astray in the woods under extreme weather and died.  Few years ago, a couple's car was stuck on snow. The husband walked to get the help while the wife and kids remained in the car to stay warm, but he never came back. He died.  Really a sad story.  I had my share of car breaking down on snow and walking two miles to get help.  A father and daughter were out fishing and they picked us up on the way back.

My friends are tanning under the sun and taking in beach breeze.  I am here adding more clothes and looking for our stocking caps whenever we wanted to go out for a walk.  My friends are wearing T-shirts and shorts and we are wearing sweaters and jackets.  I grew up in tropical weather and I don't particularly like heat, but I definitely don't want to live like Eskimos. A spiritual master from my culture has taught us to stay cool by imagining a cold creek or stream running through it or think-snow.  I guess I should think of sun and burning camp fires in this weather.

It is a cold day today and I want to bring something warm to my mind. I was inspired to envision something tropical, something fire and a drink that will set me on fire...

There are palm trees hanging down from above. Beach fires are on background. The alcohol exhaled out from drinking tequila has torched the ocean red and sizzling bubbles are going down...

To have a winter retreat spot like this, I don't have to buy an air ticket or spend the nights at hotels. All I used are a candle, an old tequila bottle with prints on it, and I poured sparkling water with salt to make the bubbles.

Warmth and relaxation came to me when I simply stared at this picture. I have all I need, a hot liquor (I don't really drink, but just for boasting sake), ambiance fire, scarlet red ocean and the ultimate peace of mind.

Earlier when I complaint about freeze, I went out to take some pictures with frost on the vegetation and they looked so pretty with that extra layer of opaque texture.  I was afraid to walk on icy road, but I went on further when I saw the 'crystals' blanketed the plants and tree limbs.

Isn't Nature magical? Your feeling is based on what's in your mind. And,  you can really control what's in your mind yourself.  It is not easy to do, but give it a try anyway.

Tie-Dye Fashion

Fashion and trends come and go.  We see them evolving every 3-5 years with color palette changes every year, but this tie-dye trend in Eugene seems never cease. Particularly in Saturday Market, the vendors and customers are both wearing tie-dyed clothing.  T-shirt is most popular for all and some women wear tie-dyed dress or skirts.  

Eugene Saturday Market is one hot spot on Saturdays.  It is crowded with people, fresh produce, arts & crafts, spice and honey and you name it.  I don't usually come here to buy expensive organic everything. I am not willing to spend $6.00 (it must be more now due to inflation) for one dozen eggs just because someone only raised 5 chickens in their backyard. Or, pay $3.59 per pound for some odd-shaped tomatoes because they were 'organically grown'. I believe that someone has given them love and care, but it is too much money for my taste. But, I never get tied of the fresh vegetables.

If I came to Saturday market, I was either looking for local crafts as gifts, or I came to purchase my favorite oyster mushroom which is not sold in regular grocery stores. On one of the very few trips I made, I brought my camera and I was aiming to take some tie-dye related pictures.  I don't care for the booths where they sell multitude of tie-dye T-shirts, dresses and skirts.  I wish someone would design these garments a little bit and there is a better manufacturing technology to make these tie-dyed clothing, so they don't always look like rags.

Patterns are fine, but I just don't like the color combo on majority of the tie-dye clothes.  There are too many bright blue, green, orange, yellow and red colors.  I walked away from the clothing section and walked into the crowd. I stood by the traffic light scouting my targets.  What caught my eyes the most were the pedestrians and the customers, people who enjoyed showing off their tie-dyed outfits while strolling along the market. Check out our Eugene tie-dye folks.

Use my camera, silverware from kitchen and a sheet of gift wrapping paper, I have created my own tie-dye Fork, Spoon and Knives, my bit of tie-dye fashion that I can pick up.

It is only through photography that I have the luxury to amuse (or tease) myself with these colorful forks and spoons. I wonder if I can sell this set of silverware to my folks here in Eugene. Oh, no, I am thinking business again, no, I am just making these up for my own entertainment. They have no commercial value, for your eyes only.

5th Street

Most of my family live in California.  More than decades ago when I came to Oregon for vacation, I fell in love with it.  My family was against the idea for me to move away from them and come to this non-famous state (some of my friends still do not know where Oregon is).  People like me with Asian origin usually choose big cities with large Asian population to live, such as Los Angels, New York or Dallas, but I am living in this small town Eugene. I grew up in a large city, this small hippie town is an oddly new and strange fit for me.

I live here because I met my husband here and because the residential area in this town is mostly surrounded by nature green that I love. Here is in Willamette Valley with clear four seasons and it is a gardener's heaven. Though I don't have a green thumb, I love to visit the nurseries here where great varieties of flowers and shrubs are in abundant supply. University of Oregon makes Eugene a college town. It is also a track town where world famous runners came here for Olympic trials. In recent years, UO football team (Ducks) has made its imprint on the sports map. 

5th Street marketplace is the landmark of Eugene.  The famed Nike store was originally on an upstairs location and later expanded to a much larger space. This large space is now Inn at 5Th and Nike has moved to a prime mall location. Since I moved to town, I witnessed the evolving of the place.  Many businesses have moved out of the area for lack of traffic.  A few staple stores remain and they seem to wrap around the outskirt of the place. The buildings are mostly contemporary with classic molding and painted with either red or black as accent colors. There are several nice restaurants within the area, but I seldom came here. If I do, I usually have my camera with me.

In fact, I have made many attempts to come here trying to capture something that represents Eugene, natural, free-spirit, anti-culture, tie-dyed and organic.  These are the elements that I was certainly not familiar with before I'd moved here, but I am gradually mingled in it regardless I like it or not. Since I started to photograph more often, I came here about four times. One time was to shoot neon, the other time I tried to figure out how to take a good shot of the fountain inside courtyard, the third time I was looking for interesting architecture or simply anything.  There is a florist, a cafe, a paper store, a jewelry store, a clothing store, and a glass home deco store surrounded the fountain, but I have not been any of the stores. They are not my type of stores to visit.  My mind is set on photography, and only photography. Before yesterday (the 4th trip), I have not come up anything that I am thrilled about.

I have not made it inside this restaurant since it became 'Pure', but I certainly like the new look of the building.

Just recently I learned a new trick to shoot neons, but I have not been able to do it right.  We talked to go out this week sometime to try again. Weatherman reported that yesterday was a better day than today, so we planned to go out in the evening. Neon would be fun, but I still wanted to be able to capture something else, something that would bring me a smile. Out of nowhere, I suddenly decided to grab my wide angle lens and shoot out of the door in the day light.  And, I went back to this inter junction that I had not known how to take a good shot.  It was a slow time of the day, not many people walking by, so I got to shoot from many different angles, up and down, left and right.  Bingo, I spotted the shot from my camera viewer and I took a few more. Below is my favorite.

The simple stairway leads to the entrance of the basement where more businesses are located. The mural is colorful and has all business names on it. The coloration and style are very Eugene and from this angle, 5th street marketplace sign is included.  It was shot with wide angle lens, so the metal handrail on the left and wood one on the right have become two welcoming hosts. I have not felt so welcomed here till this point....

Evening came, I came back here with my husband and did some experiments with neon.  There are not that many neon within the area and most of them are distracted by the lights nearby.  We drove around and hoped to find some neon in more isolated locations, but not much luck. However, my husband took some very dramatic shots. He seems better than me with technical shots. I was lucky enough to get this one. I like it because it is simple, clear and it is fashion.

5th Street businesses go through changes year after year. Andrea Fashion is always there.  Provisions at the basement is there since Marche becomes the staple restaurant.  I like to go upstairs to enjoy my fresh cup of espresso and pastries. Upstair food court is certainly more a tourist attraction since it offered great varieties including Mediterranean favorites.

A Porcelain Art

My daughter's family is visiting this weekend and I am hosting a baby shower for their second baby.

My house was a wreck after working on my large family album for more than a year.  House needs to provide a nice and easy comfort. I don't expect myself to keep up a spotless living space, but I like it to be clean and not cluttered. Pressure is on when I am trying to joggle among my photography, my photo book and my family.

It was about 9:00pm when we came back from the walk and I finally had my place picked up and dishwasher unloaded. I lit a candle inside a candle holder with etched designs.  The soft shadow cast on tabletop created a pattern, intangible but beautiful. I found myself lost track of what's on TV....

By the time when I was back from my train of thought, I had my camera on the tripod. I put my strainer out and put the candle inside .  Not much shadow, the wick is kind of small and the light could barely shine through. 

Earlier today I intended to do some night shots without my flash and it sounded like a good time to do it.  But candle light was weak. I used a flash light instead. Flash light is better but where the shadow should go in order to make it a better (shadow) splash?  I tried various background but the shadow was just not substantial enough. I needed a flash, but no, I could not, I did not want to. I said that and I should insist.

Again I started to plough through my pantry, and I found an old white color plate with sculptured edges.  Instead of strainer, I used a bamboo mat that I used to make sushi as the media for light to shine through. Flash light became weak when the media was now a bamboo mat.  My husband witnessed my little struggle, he went down to the basement and brought me a clip light with halogen light bulb. Viola, this is it!  I don't need flash for this practice (I just need patience and perseverance to stick to my goal and not give up too easily)

The shadow on the plate is fine and long.  The white plate took all the filtered lights in. I could even

adjust the bamboo mat here and there to create different patterns. Just shadowed lines are not enough, what else can I do? color. So I added background color and took more shots. At first I saw large seashells. The white plate had sculptured edges and with lines added, they looked like seashells. I was happy but not excited.  I played with settings and I changed the angles. The unexpected images, at this point, were starting to pop, and I could not stop until I was completely exhausted. I looked up and the clock reads 2:14am.

The shadow on the plate makes it look fully sculptured . The porcelain glare and the curved lines are elegant.  And, the shadows on the background have added another dimension.  I also like the blue background which is almost like a piece of luxurious velvet embracing the priceless porcelain art.

It was a long day, but it was well worth it.